Chivalry is dead... Or is it?

     I know of a lot of kids who are from divorced families. Some divorces were bad, others not so bad.         Every divorce is hard whether it be because of the custody battle to follow or because one spouse does not want a divorce and ends up having no choice but to sign for one. Hearts are broken and lives ruined because of common excuses to end marriages. "Oh, we argue too much. I just can't handle it anymore." That is the dumbest excuse to end a marriage. That, to me, means miscommunication. I understand if the arguing lead to abuse; that is a reason to divorce. No one should be abused, ever.
     Some parents don't understand the effect a divorce can have on a child. Some children grow up to think that divorce is an easy out. Some, like myself, think divorce is too easy. I would rather work out my problem with my significant other than say, "See ya!" Other kids think they were the reason for the divorce because the parents put the child in the middle. You can't make a child choose between his/her mother and father; that is putting way too much stress on a child who shouldn't be stressing over anything. Telling a child, "Choose who you want to live with," is like telling a child, 'Choose who you love more.'
     After the divorce and custody battles are final, then comes new marriages, new step-parents. The main question younger children ask is "why is he/she better than mommy/daddy?" Parents don't understand how hard it is to see their parents split up and then with new people. The hardest thing for a child to accept is that daddy has moved on. Step-parents try so hard to get the child to accept them, most of the times they push the child away. Other step-parents are jealous of the child and will do everything to make their relationship with the parent more difficult. Then, there is the new task of what to call the step-parent. 'Should I call her mom or by her name?' Don't force a child to call a step-parent mommy or daddy. They are smart enough to know that it isn't their parent and they don't want to replace their mommy or daddy with someone they hardly know. Now, if the child is really young, you can most likely get away with that, especially if the biological parent isn't in the picture.
     I know of a few people whose parents remarried and they get along with their step-parents wonderfully. Others don't quite have that luxury. As for me, I don't even talk to my stepmom. She's been in my life since I was 4 and still hasn't accepted the fact I'm my dad's first child. It's been a constant jealousy battle since I was 4. I have a friend who's stepdad is wonderful. Her mom and stepdad have no kids together. She married him with two kids and then had to get a hysterectomy. He sat by her side knowing he would never have a child to call his blood, yet treats his wife's children like his own. That is a good man. Not many men would stick around, especially if it meant they weren't going to have any children.
     I didn't think, with my generation, that I would ever find anyone who was willing to accept the fact I have children, especially with a one year old and a two month old. I had grown to accept that I would be alone. But low and behold, I did meet someone. I didn't trust it at first, being who I am and watching way too many episodes of Criminal Minds. I've always had a fear of me falling for a pedophile or a serial killer (I know, I'm insane). But this guy is sweet, great with my boys, and has overlooked my 'baggage.' I still get nervous but there's nothing I can do about that. We shall see where this goes ;)