What do I tell them?

     Raising kids while your husband's in jail is no piece of cake. I've said it one too many times. Unfortunately, NOT saying it doesn't make the problems go away. I had to work throughout both of my pregnancies. I've worked hard and gotten no where. I went to a vocational school only to work for a company that decided not to pay me what I worked for. I'm trying to find a job now and having no luck. I'm playing Mommy AND Daddy singlehandedly.

     Every day I wonder what I'm going to tell my boys when they realize that other people have daddies that play with them, go to the park with them, teach them how to throw a ball, etc. I've prepared miniature speeches in my head, trying to prepare myself. I can't say, "Oh, your daddy didn't care about us and decided the drugs were more important." I can't say, "Your dad was stupid and did stupid things." I can't say, "You don't have a father." (ha ha) 

     I don't want to tell them information that will hurt their feelings. I don't want to tell them that daddy DIDN'T care because that would hurt them and make them resentful. But I can't lie to them. As I've gotten older (I'm not saying I'm old), I notice younger generations getting more technologically savvy at earlier ages. It won't be too long before they figure out they can look up their daddy's name online and see the long list of charges. Craig is named after his father. It won't be long until he realizes that. 

     With this divorce I have thought a lot about what I'm going to do. I'm not taking rights away from him. However, I will not trust him with the kids for a long time and will request supervised visitation whenever the custody agreements come about. I am going to show them pictures of them when they start to notice his absence. I will tell them to draw pictures and such for him. I want this to be a clean, nice divorce. There are too many people who get 'ghetto' or feel they need to create drama for no good reason. I'd rather it be peaceful, but I can't expect it.
     For now,  I will be in charge of teaching them how to throw, fish, take them to the park, and play with them. My question will remain lingering in the back of my brain... 

What exactly do I tell them?